Tomorrow we find out the gender of our baby (hopefully, if the baby cooperates). I am excited about it. People have asked me:
a. What do I think it is?
b. What do I want it to be?
Here are my answers:
a. I THINK it will be a girl. Reason #1 is that it is just a gut feeling.
Reason #2 is that I have had two dreams about Abby and I's life with a baby and both times the baby in the dream was a little girl. This surely contributes to my gut feeling.
(For fun, here are the dreams)
Dream A: Before Abby got pregnant I dreamed we were in our house on Brookwood Lane. I was sitting on the huge leather sectional and our days-old infant was laying on the couch. Abby told me she wanted to go take a shower, got up and walked down the hallway toward our bedroom. To my surprise the days-old baby got up, and started walking, following Abby down the hallway saying "Momma, momma." I was shocked and my only thought was "How are you doing this? You are days old. You shouldn't be able to walk or talk yet?" I was simultaneously proud at having a genius baby and frightened by this completely impossible behavior.
Dream B: I dreamed that Abby had our baby while I was gone. I do not know where I was or why I missed the birth, but in the dream it was evident I was only hours, if not minutes late. Regardless, Abby had already named the child. It was some name we had never discussed. I can't remember the first name but the middle name was definitely Vanderwae. I was furious. I was breaking stuff and punching walls and crying. Clearly, being a part of the naming process is important to me.
This is the only "Vanderwae" I know. Ernest Maurice "Kiki" Vandeweghe III, a former NBA player. He is an NBA analyst for ESPN. I thought his name was Vanderwae until today.
b. This answer has changed in the last 6 months. I at first wanted a baby girl, mostly because my niece is a girl and I was used to her. I could envision that. Raising a boy seemed terrifying to me, and I can not express why. Then my nephew was born and I could more easily envision a boy. Two months ago I came up with a name for a boy that I really love. It sounds good to the ear, it is unique but not weird and has a real meaning behind it; everything I want for all my kid's names. Now I sort of want a boy just so I can use this name. Also, like every man, I want a boy so that my family name can be passed on. I want there to be a 4th Delane Wilkinson (My grandfather, father, and me all share the middle name Delane as will my son if i have one).
So, thats where I am. Either way I will be happy. I will protect and be wrapped around the finger of my daughter or I will wrestle my boy and teach him how to be a man. No way to lose here.